KMCWA
06-19-2010, 09:50 AM
MURDER AT WALMART
Tired of constantly being broke & stuck in an unhappy
marriage, a young husband decided to solve both problems
by taking out a large insurance policy on his wife with himself
as the beneficiary, and then arranging to have her killed.
A 'friend of a friend' put him in touch with a nefarious dark-side underworld figure who went by the name of 'Artie..' Artie
explained to the husband that his going price for snuffing
out a spouse was $5,000.
The husband said he was willing to pay that amount, but that he
wouldn't have any cash on hand until he could collect his wife's
insurance money. Artie insisted on being paid at least something up front, so the man opened his wallet, displaying the single dollar bill that rested inside. Artie sighed, rolled his eyes, & reluctantly agreed
to accept the dollar as down payment for the dirty deed.
A few days later, Artie followed the man's wife to the local Super
Wal-Mart store. There, he surprised her in the produce department
& proceeded to strangle her with his gloved hands. As the poor unsuspecting woman drew her last breath & slumped to the floor, the manager of the produce department stumbled unexpectedly onto the murder scene. Unwilling to leave any living witnesses behind, ol' Artie had no choice but to strangle the produce manager as well.
However, unknown to Artie, the entire proceedings were captured
by the hidden security cameras & observed by the store's security
guard, who immediately called the police. Artie was caught and
arrested before he could even leave the store.
Under intense questioning at the police station, Artie revealed
the whole sordid plan, including his unusual financial arrangements
with the hapless husband who was also quickly arrested.
The next day in the newspaper, the headline declared...
(You're going to hate me for this...)
'ARTIE CHOKES 2 for $1.00 @ WAL-MART!'
Oh, quit groaning! I don't write this stuff, I receive it from my warped friends and then send it on to you
:eyebrows::ban::eyebrows::loco:
Tired of constantly being broke & stuck in an unhappy
marriage, a young husband decided to solve both problems
by taking out a large insurance policy on his wife with himself
as the beneficiary, and then arranging to have her killed.
A 'friend of a friend' put him in touch with a nefarious dark-side underworld figure who went by the name of 'Artie..' Artie
explained to the husband that his going price for snuffing
out a spouse was $5,000.
The husband said he was willing to pay that amount, but that he
wouldn't have any cash on hand until he could collect his wife's
insurance money. Artie insisted on being paid at least something up front, so the man opened his wallet, displaying the single dollar bill that rested inside. Artie sighed, rolled his eyes, & reluctantly agreed
to accept the dollar as down payment for the dirty deed.
A few days later, Artie followed the man's wife to the local Super
Wal-Mart store. There, he surprised her in the produce department
& proceeded to strangle her with his gloved hands. As the poor unsuspecting woman drew her last breath & slumped to the floor, the manager of the produce department stumbled unexpectedly onto the murder scene. Unwilling to leave any living witnesses behind, ol' Artie had no choice but to strangle the produce manager as well.
However, unknown to Artie, the entire proceedings were captured
by the hidden security cameras & observed by the store's security
guard, who immediately called the police. Artie was caught and
arrested before he could even leave the store.
Under intense questioning at the police station, Artie revealed
the whole sordid plan, including his unusual financial arrangements
with the hapless husband who was also quickly arrested.
The next day in the newspaper, the headline declared...
(You're going to hate me for this...)
'ARTIE CHOKES 2 for $1.00 @ WAL-MART!'
Oh, quit groaning! I don't write this stuff, I receive it from my warped friends and then send it on to you
:eyebrows::ban::eyebrows::loco: