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Happy Birthday Ref - Holdem Freaks
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Old 10-15-2016, 09:52 PM
Barron40 Barron40 is offline
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Default Happy Birthday Ref

The following is something I posted many moons ago on one of Ref's other Birthdays back when he was just old. Now that he is ancient I thought I would repost this. Some of the old group from the old days when cash games were legal will remember this and hopefully still enjoy. Happy Birthday you old SOB.

I see where there is a game tomorrow night for Ref's B-Day. It made me wonder just how old he is. So I typed his name in my yahoo search window and believe it or not there was numerous sites for him. I pulled up Wikipedia and thought I would post what it says about him. Man oh man, he is really old. I mean ancient old. I hope this does not offend. Happy Birthday a little early old man. God Bless.

Steve Old Fart PokerRef (PokerRef)
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Other search terms for PokerRef: old, senile, ice, toy, bitch
The poker player of great historical infamy and also the ice boy of Barron40 and Yoda’s bitch at the tables
PokerRef encounters donks and suckouts at the tables
Gender: Male (we think)
Occupation: Driver of the RAIDER bandwagon
Family: Califnaughti (Sandra) His better half
Address: California
Nationality: American

PokeRef is an online poker player from California that frequents Hold’em Freaks poker site. Ref is a cold-hearted, tight fisted, selfish man, who despises Voices_Shh and all things which engender happiness. PokeRef has many aliases as well. A few to name are “OLD FART”, “YODA’S BITCH”, “CALI’S BOY TOY” and the one he is most proud of is “BARRON’S STUDENT”.

• Birth Of PokerRef
• The Early Years
• Tombstone
• Riverboat Gambling
• Sleepy Hollow
• Heading Back West
• Internet Highway

Birth Of PokerRef
Several theories have been put forward as to where PokerRef was born.
• One school of thought believes that was born to Al Davis back in the 1950’s. But after much research on the matter we can say PokerRef is much too old to have been born in that time frame.

• Still more claim that PokerRef was born during the California Gold Rush over a century ago to a poor goldminer named Steven Pokerias Refund. At the turn of the 20th century he shortened his dad's name and took on the name PokerRef. This is the most credible info we found.

• Yet others think that he was the love child of Wild Bill Hickock and Calamity Jane.

The Early Years
PokerRef grew up during the booming time of the California Gold Rush. He spent numerous hours each day learning to read and write from the prospectors in the family camp. Many days while his mother thought he was out at the Prospector’s Pre-K school, learning his readin and writin for from prospector jebediah brunson (great grandfather of Doyle), he was actually learning to play GO FISH from the higher educated prospectors.

His mother did not catch on till she went to see him graduate 12 years later and found out he was just moving into the 10th grade. While disgusted with his educational prowess she was quite impressed that he had made thousands of dollars during his childhood playing GO FISH and OLD MAID with the prospectors.

It was another 8 years before PokerRef graduated high school. He decided to head east and further his studies in Tombstone, Arizona. This is where he met up with Wyatt Earp and his brothers. He also met Doc Holliday, whom grew quite fond of the young boy. You could here Doc up in his room late at night with the door closed telling Ref, “I’m your Huckleberry.”

This is the time where PokerRef started to pick up the game of poker. He played day, night, weekends, basically anytime that he was not working at the O.K. Corral shoveling H.O.R.S.E. crap from the stables. (Sidenote: years later PokerRef is credited with creating the game H.O.R.S.E. from those early days in the stables)
PokerRef started out quite successful at poker, beating the cattlemen daily at the local bar. Eventually He became too competitive and was asked to leave TombStone after calling Doc Holliday a donk on numerous occasions and even at one point telling Wyatt Earp that he was so stupid he could not even spell poker.

Riverboat Gambling
At this point in his life he felt it was time to move on (he was told to leave). He decided to head further east to the Grand Mississippi river. This is where he had his biggest game of his life. He played Heads Up, on a riverboat ride from Memphis to New Orleans, against the famous Brett Maverick. The game lasted for 8 hours, 53 minutes, and 12 seconds (Ref was always a stickler for detail). PokerRef lost to Maverick when he went all in with pocket Aces and Maverick called him with 9-2 off suit. The flop came A99 and Ref was already sweeping the chips his way when another 9 hit on the turn. PokeRef went into a tirade and was thrown in the Mississippi river by the riverboat pit boss.

Sleepy Hollow
After that PokerRef headed east to Sleepy Hollow where one night he became extremely exhausted and slept a little longer than he expected. He woke to find out he had slept for 80 years. He became despondent and depressed as he realized he had outlived all his friends (all 3 of them) and knew nobody.

Heading Back West
He decided it was time to head back west to his birthplace in California. He made it back and decided to settle in San Francisco. For many years he was employed by the city of San Francisco as the driver of a street car named “DESIRE” through the streets of San Francisco. This job supported him for 10 years until he met his wife Sandra (cailfnaughti). She was riding the streetcar to candlestick park to see her Oakland A’s play the Giants. She was carrying a pink leash with her (this attracted ref) but she had no dog. Well lets just say she never made it to the game and PokerRef never made it to work as a streetcar driver ever again.

Internet Highway
As the years went by and children were born, califnaughti never realized that PokerRef was well over a hundred years old. When she finally found out (he always bragged about being Doc Holliday’s Huckleberry) how old he was and what all he had been through, she decided to buy him his very first computer in 1995.
Ref took many years to learn about computers as he had just learned about
v.i.a.g. r.a. a few years earlier and did not have much time for computers until he realized they had porn. By the time he got comfortable with the computer, PokerStars was coming into its own. PokerRef and Cali started to dabble on the dark side of internet poker at the time.

It was a few year later after trying many poker sites and forums that Cali got them involved with Hold’em Freaks. This was new to ref. At first he shied away thinking of his prison days in San Francisco. Every time he heard the word “Freaks” he would cower in the corner of the shower and start mumbling, “Yoda is ready. Yoda wants the dark side, Yoda is ready, Yoda wants the dark side.”

Cali eventually got him over his fear of the freaks and he began to excel at poker again as he once did over a hundred years ago. Ref always would compare playing poker again to his childhood days. He would say, “Its just like riding a burro, you never forget.”

PokerRef has spent many years online now and has almost shed the memories of so many centuries ago.

Last edited by Barron40; 10-16-2016 at 07:00 PM.
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